‘Supplication before a journey’
Oh Allah! I seek refuge in you from the difficulties of the journey, from unwanted situations..
Turkish airlines again blesses my flight out of Istanbul, direction Saudi Arabia. I will be landing in Jeddah, the airport of Mecca, which is why the airline has gifted me with a branded umbrella and purse. The latter contains a prayer mat and tally counter, a sanitiser ‘for the Hajj’, foot covers for access to places of worship, and finally, a well-wishing card from Turkish: We wish you a successful prayer pilgrimage. May Allah accept.
In the back rows is the Saudi women’s national team of who knows what sport, they are all girls under thirty, proudly displaying their green ‘Saudi Arabia’ polo shirts as well as their shiny, thick, raven, free hair. I remember the first time I landed in the country, it was a full flight late at night that would take me to Riyad, the capital, for the trade fair I was to attend. I was the only Western girl in the aircraft, I remember that by pure chance I ended up next to a compatriot export manager who was heading to the same event: ‘What is such a young and lonely girl doing on a flight to Riyadh?’. Then we started chatting and even discovered that we shared part of our professional network. I now remember smiling that night, I feared there might be problems at the visa checkpoint and had specifically asked a client if one of his drivers could escort me to the hotel. I had however downloaded an all-female ridesharing app, Leena, activated in the country in 2018, when women were finally allowed to drive. Actually, I would soon find out how the regular uber and careem were safe and functional enough to move around in the city.
I don’t demand much from my hotel stays when I travel for business. It’s enough that they’re simple, clean, h24. I’ve given up hoping that breakfast will include my stupid yogurt routine. If I’m lucky I manage to option a few hotels with a gym, especially after long layover and intercontinental flights. I thus try to readjust my pulse with some healthy physical activity, in this way I believe I mitigate female microcirculation teasement and the side effects of jet lag. Before booking the hotel in Jeddah, I therefore contacted reception to make sure I could access the gym. After my two previous stays in Riyadh, I knew that I might run into a hotel with the gym reserved for men and women in separate shifts, or a ‘fitness gym women only’ in public spaces. The first time in the capital, the receptionist had in fact prevented me from doing a treadmill run in the morning, even though the men’s shift was completely empty. It seemed crazy to me, even though I had told myself to be a good obedient girl. But I didn’t, I went to the back courtyard of the hotel, to a neighbourhood built on sand where there seemed to be not a soul, and I ran, away from prying eyes, I knew I was not dressed to the norm, I was in bermuda shorts and short sleeves. In the country, foreign women can as of 2018 circulate without wearing the abaya, without covering their heads, it is enough for them to wear loose-fitting clothes that cover up to below the knee and below the elbow, not exaggerating with make-up. Most of the Saudi women, on the other hand, still wear the niqab. Only a few of them show their beautiful Arab features and olive complexion in the sunlight, and I am sometimes shocked to note that many of them have had iris surgery to arrive to show blue eyes. In all Muslim countries, especially here, I regularly meet them bare-headed at the toilet, smiling and extremely supportive of each other, intent on combing their hair, making themselves beautiful, finally rinsing themselves after suffering the high temperatures under their black clothes. I casually meet some of them in coffee shops or for work. They have also recently been allowed to go out alone in public places, as well as to meet with people of the opposite sex without having to be separated in rooms reserved for men and women. The first time I met a Saudi businesswoman was a few years ago at a trade fair in Dubai, I could only see her eyes, and still she was so convincing, so determined.
When I first came to the fair in Riyadh I met another Italian colleague, we were the only Western women dressed in suits and loafers. Besides us there were at most ten other local women. I wondered. ‘how will the colleagues of the opposite sex be able to relate to me?’. The truth is that I never encountered any problems. I have only ever encountered full attention, courtesy, respect, whether my male interlocutors were Saudi, Jordanian, Egyptian, Sudanese or whatever. I like to think that this attitude is not only part of the openness and internationalisation plan called Vision 2023, through which Prince Mohammed Bin Salman is looking at the Expo and the modernisation of the country via major infrastructure works, the construction of new cities, boosting tourism, football soft power, digitalisation and even the opening of the first liquor shop in the capital’s diplomatic district. One only has to visit the malls, the KAFD financial district, the historical citadel of Dir’iyya, and the fine dining and hospitality venues in Riyadh, as well as the wonderful old city of Al Balad, in Jeddah, dating back to the 16th century and now protected by Unesco, to understand how much Saudi Arabia has to offer by trying to show itself ‘to others’.
Perhaps it is because I belong to the group of the ‘others’ that ‘they’ can relate to me, although for cultural reasons some Saudis still do not shake hands with me on meetings and prefer to place their hand over their heart. In return, Saudi women kiss me three times, hug me tightly, and are very caring and affectionate.
Before returning home, T first wife’s son, M, took me to the Corniche to look out over the Red Sea, I had told him I liked the sea. I love to smell the saltiness in my hair. He is 29, and in this closeness of age I feel I can finally get rid of a curiosity: ‘But M, please explain to me, how do you choose your future wife without being able to see her because of the niqab?’
‘Well, it is usually the mothers who are in charge of selecting our brides, they can see them in the home environment, then they invite us for tea in their house, in the presence of everyone, because we can approve’
‘And then?’
‘Well, if they go well we start the engagement and we can appear together in public places, always maintaining an appropriate attitude, so we have a chance to get to know each other’.
‘And then?’
‘Then if we are convinced we marry them.’
‘Or?’
‘Or we break off the engagement.’
‘And what will happen to these poor girls if they don’t pass the exam?’
‘Inschallah maybe they will manage to find some other husband.’
‘OK. But instead, do you have female friends at university with you?’
‘Universities are divided for men and women, so I cannot meet my future bride there. But you will see that with our Prince soon things will change and the university will also be mixed, then it will be disaster.’
‘Come on, take it easy. Meanwhile, good luck on tomorrow’s exam, cyber security, right?’
‘No, that was today, tomorrow I have usual exam on the Koran’
‘Yalla, you already know everything. Thanks for taking me to see the sea, M.’
